Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
