So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize