After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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