They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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