shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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