There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Hippo gnu deer
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
