Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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