You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
