my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
