I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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