she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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