Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
