i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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