just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
last night I used snow as a chaser
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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