I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
