And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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