I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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