seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
