We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
