i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
