you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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