SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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