____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
now i know why i became what i already was.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
