I think im going to throw up on grandma
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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