worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Couch. On fire.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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