you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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