its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
cat food counts as protein by the way
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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