Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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