why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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