; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
