i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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