what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize