I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
