i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize