I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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