the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
