erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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