I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Fuck appropriateness.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
