if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
is it fun? or sober?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
