Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
