Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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