The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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