Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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