so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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