Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
