fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Oh god it's open bar.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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