well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
