3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
