It's Friday. Sex?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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