I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
