I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
