sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
