i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We talked him into tasing himself.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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