Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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