Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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