I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
i am craving dick and cupcakes
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?